Marriage in the Colonial Era
by Amanda Peterson

As is today, different regions, religions, and cultural groups followed different traditions for the practice of marriage. Some preferred to be officiated within a church, while others were content performing the ceremony in their own home. Groups in the south danced and celebrated, while the more reserved New Englanders frowned upon excessive partying.

The Quakers held weddings within their local meetinghouses. They allowed couples to marry themselves without the presence of a clergyman. The Anglicans in the south made public marriage announcements in the church called banns, which they would use to notify family and friends of the upcoming union. These may have developed into what we know today as a marriage license, which started to become popular in the late 17th century.

Southerners usually held the party within their own homes, while Northerners had a more civil ceremony. While people in Georgia and the Carolinas danced, drank, listened to music, and toasted true love, their New England counterparts stood in a church before a magistrate.

A marriage was more of a business transaction of dowry and land than a sacred union between two lovebirds. The poorer the family, however, the less this mattered. Since certain families did not own land, they allowed their children to marry for love. The parents had the power to veto their son’s choice in a bride, however. Younger siblings were sometimes prevented from marrying until their older brothers had taken a bride or their sisters had been given away.

There were many laws surrounding a marriage. Failing to provide, adultery, or desertion were punishable in court. Physical abuse of wives was outlawed in many of the colonies. In 1641, Massachusetts limited beatings “unless it be in his own defense upon her assault.” This had not been a protective right in England, and wives across the country rejoiced.

Though the English limited marriage termination to the wealthy, divorces were granted in extreme conditions in the colonies, such as desertion. A women, as will be discussed later in this essay, needed the constant support of a husband in order to run a household. Many colonies did not allow the annulment of the union, though they allowed separation.

Women did not legally own anything, not even their own children. They had to obey their husbands, who also controlled their possessions.

For early 17th century women, twenty to twenty three years was the acceptable time to marry. If a girl was still single at twenty-five, it was considered a humiliation. After marriage, about twenty years were spent bearing and raising children – the average family size being around six or seven, as many couples lost at least one child and 50% of women died in childbirth or post-birth complications.

Widows had many more rights than a married woman. They could manage inherited land, businesses, or work outside the home. Single, women, too, shared rights such as contract making, the power to sue or be sued, and own, buy, or sell property. However, widows were pushed to get married quickly, as a woman needed a husband to provide. Sometimes remarriage occurred in a matter of weeks. In fact, women were considered dead once they married – they became one with their husband. All of a women’s property went straight to her husband, even her personal objects, such as jewelry or clothing. At the passing of their spouse, women were entitled to 1/3 of their combined belongings.

Women were not given much respect or rights back in the colonial era. However, as time has passed, they have gained so much more importance – the right to vote, the right to divorce, and even the right to marry each other. Today, a wife is no longer the property of her husband; she is a free person.